Sometimes issues pop up in our life by accident. To say sorry and to ask for forgiveness have been such issues recently. ”What to do when you run out of life time” - a German magazine’s title story - added some more thoughts to it. Who felt hurt by things we did or said, by things we left undone or unsaid? Does this bother us unconsciously or even consciously? To take stock can free ourselves (I mean everyday injury, heavy guilt in my eyes is something else.)
Does the process of saying sorry depend on the forgiveness of the other person? Or is it more a matter of taking over responisibilty for a hurting situation, for the own acting and talking that another person felt hurt by? Most of the time we are out of balance ourselves when we strike back or overreact. Both, the withdrawal into the hurting as well as the withdrawal into the feeling hurt is the end of dialogue and communication. It is a sign of power struggle in which always both sides lose.
In my experience the expression of a truely felt sorry has a freeing effect - no matter whether or not our counterpart forgives us. To forgive someone also needs the ability to forgive oneself and the ability to voluntarily leave the “victim mode” of the hurt person. Both people created the situation.
Are there people you’d like to say sorry to?
How high is the prize, what is your risk to do so and to put out your hand?
Is there someone you coud talk to today and say sorry right away?
What makes it hard?
What holds you back?
What is it you risk to lose, what is it can you win?
Even if your “sorry” is like beating your head against a stone wall - it is precious because it is a sign to end the power struggle. A truely felt sorry has a wonderful energy.
What do you think? Is coaching a kind of therapy? Is it expensive and long lasting to provide the coaches’ living? I created new slides on some - as I see it - errors about coaching. In Germany coaching is a service that still needs some explanations. Many people think in terms of “I am adviced what to do…”
What experiences do you have? I appreciate your sharing it with us.
Tonight I had my alarm clock set at 2:30 a.m. The reason was the blogradio show Today’s Author. You are very welcome to listen to this interview. Just follow the button link. It was a pleasure to be on David K. Ewen’s show and I was really amazed how fast those 15 minutes were over.
To mark the occasion there comes a special offer with this event until January 31: 8,80 US-Dollar or 6 Euro off the normal price. Of course the donation for orphans and abandoned children stays the same: 2 Euro or 3 US-Dollar per sold book or e-book copy.
On 13th of December I received a powerpoint presentation with the title “The Art of Being Well”. This made me think a lot over the weekend. The text is about “If you don’t want to be ill…”.
I believe in the 7 Huna principles, especailly MAKIA - energy flows where the attention goes. “If I don’t want to be ill” is a negation that focusses me on illness and disease. What if I love to be healthy instead? The Art of Being Well inspired me to create a new presentation. It starts with “If you love to be healthy…” and it does without diseases. I will upload the link for you as soon as I have the permission to use the photos I chose.
Do you think that language makes a difference? Do you use a lot of negations in your everday language? Do you agree on the difference I feel and see? Do you have a different opinion? I am happy to learn about it.
Have a healthy and wonderful week before Christmas
Review by Dr. Susan L. Reid,
author of “Discovering Your Inner Samurai:
The Entreprenurial Woman’s Guide to Business Success”
Interesting and provocative! Sandra has put together a guide to personal script writing that will change your life.
With you in the director’s chair, all things are possible.
A power-shot of inner wisdom that will catapult your success!
My Lulu print version arrived today. Here is the link.
I am looking forward to feedbacks on the book. More than one person told me that it had a life changing impact… I am happy about it. My purpose is: to support others in supporting themselves.
Dialogue-Scripting is a coaching tool that I derived from screenplay writing. It is a method to analyze difficult communication situations in order to improve your performance in the long run. In the German bestselling book “Coaching-Tools II - Successful coaches present techniques of intervention from their practice” it is introduced. You will also find it in my English e-book.
What if you literally see your life as a movie? Screenplays are mainly based on dialogues. That gives you a big chance to work on yours and thus improve your experiences. Does that sound too simple? Well, my experience is that it is that simple. We tend to think that it is hard to change something in our life. It is hard because we think it is. We also have the choice to change something in a playful and easy way.
Cruising the web on an information search I just ran into these Chinese bunnies called Tuzki on this Art Site. What amazed me was how quickly they connected with my emotional center. They are simply drawn and yet expressive in my eyes - like this desperate one here:
I guess that is why quite a few German bloggers use these Tuzkis to show their actual mood in the sidebars of their blogs. Just imagine to transfer that kind of visible emotional state out of virtuality into real life settings! Wouldn’t it make some communications and things easier to receive visual signals on how our counterpart feels? I am fantazising about: (S)He is wearing a mini mood screen attached to her/his clothes. That would be a wordless “I-message” like “I feel desperate!” or “I am sad”. That means (s)he knows her/his genuine feeling and shows it this way. Is there a reason that I only mention so-called “negative” emotions? Yes, happiness, joy, enthusiasm, being in love usually are unmasked and visible at first sight.
One step back: Each morning when we get up we check our emotional state by looking at visualized moods that we feel attracted to. Then we decide to accept and even embrace the identified mood in this very moment and at the same time work with it consciously in a MMM - Morning Mood Management. Being aware of an emotional state like sadness also gives us the chance to ask questions like: What is it that can make me feel (a bit) happier in this very moment and soften the sadness? One answer can be: A colourful red rose on this grey and cold late atumn day… and you go and get one. Another answer could be: a cup of hot chocolate. Both is pretty easy to acquire for the moment.
Back to reality. What about you? How are you today? Are you in contact with your emotional center? Does a feeling like sadness show as sadness or is it masked as anger or impatience or…?
My name is Sandra. I am a writer and business coach from Germany. I am looking forward to blogging with you.
7 Secrets to:
Interesting and provocative!
Sandra has put together a guide to personal script writing that will change your life. With you in the director’s chair, all things are possible. A power-shot of inner wisdom that will catapult your success!
Dr. Susan L. Reid
Author of “Discovering Your Inner Samurai: The Entrepreneurial Woman’s Guide to Business Success”
Donation
Per sold copy of my brand new book a donation of 2 € (3 US $) goes to nph.org. I have started to support them in 2005 with a German book's entire revenues.
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